Wednesday, December 24, 2003
get kinda bored just now waiting and out of the boredom i produce this funny stuff out... hahaz... kinda reflect on what i feel...
my friend also produce on great work out... actually wanna him help me to end my last sentence one, but in the end he give me the whole story... pro right... , but really must sad, he really know how to continue it... hahaz...
anyway feel free to give comment of it...
MerrY Christmas EvE~ ( anyway i am available these two day... haha waiting for ppl to date me out... just kidding)
(My Version)
the weather as usual,
was as cold as the other day.
i sit by the window, dreaming of u now and then.
i have been waiting for you the whole night,
but i just cant find your soul. finally i left the place i wait,
thinking that i will never see you again..
(Friend Version)
the weather as usual,
was as cold as the other day.
i sit by the window,
dreaming of u now and then.
i have been waiting for you the whole night,
but i just cant find your soul.
finally i left the place i wait
with a broken heart.
thinking that something bad might had happen to you.
as i left the place,
the sweet memory of you and i keep appearing on my mind,
and out of a sudden, tear start to roll down,
somemore i could not control the feeling i had in for you...
and i started to cry...
as i cry i walk,
hoping that i would bump into you...
but my hope was soon dashed....
my mobile phone ring out of the sudden.
as i answer, it was the worst hateful thing i hate to heard.
it was you. You had just dead in a car accident.
how dreadful that was...
i was so stuck be the news that i dropped to the ground....
hoping that a lighting would struck me dead...
so that we could fulfill our dreams only in our death.
Monday, December 22, 2003
dun feel like blogging today... no one know how i feel, how angry i am how sad i am, no one know how i feel. everything also i do one, every meeting i set, every training detail also i planned, he never do anything but can suddenly change the plan as he wish, tat isnt fair... so wHaT his post bigger than me, must i everything listen to him, even if tat is wrong. why must i get scolded by him, even i am not wrong, i am not born for him to scold, he dont respect me why should i respect me, i dont care about anything everything now, everything he decide, everything he do, i am not gonna do anything afterall what i say he also dont listen, even if it cost a life, i also dont care already, that his problem afterall, afterall i wont believe any words he say, is all lies, everything is a lies, nothing he say ever come true, he will just act in front of other then do nothing behind, we do everything, every red cross committee did contribute something, only he, just fool around, we pack the room, he mess up the room, we plan this thing, he change to other thing, so what the use of we doing all the thing, should let him do it all!!!!
sorry if this post offend anyone..., but... forget it...
Sunday, December 21, 2003
been to tuition today... can really concentrate on what the teacher is teaching, bu afterall still can catch a bit larhz... hahaz... actually today got my class bbq one... but in the end i never go... haha... same as last time... but his time is no one want to go, then if i go, no one accompany me home larhz... all stay there overnight one... too bad lorhz... never inform my parent, so rather dont go, so dont need to pay money... heex... can save money again... get kinda bored after tuition, then dont feel like going home so early, then go to parkway shop shop( afterall only need to cross one traffic light) haha... rot there for almost 2hr... manage to stand all the way outside a video shop to watch the show "pao ba hai zi" haha... manage to finish vol 1, but too bad, they never show vol 2, if not i can stand there finish the whole show... haha after that stay there shop shop until 6 something den go home... still the same parkway is the best place for me to shop, there always a lot of people there dont know why... haha... but i like there ... only need to take one bus then can go to there from my house, also dont need take much time, after all my tuition there... can every week go once... heex... got a lot of thing people to see there also... ehz... wait... when did i begin to promote for parkway ... hahaz... ( dont forget my promotion fees hor ) hahaz... that it... tomorrow gonna start to do my homework and revise for my study... -sigh- gonna cut down time on playing going out and using com... sad~~!~! think can only online at night for the following day... anyone wanna find me, at night come online think can find me... hahaz... one day i sure become owl one... ok... enough of my crap... get my to my comic book... heex...
Friday, December 19, 2003
it has been raining for the whole day, i somehow like the rain very much, but i dont like thunder... hahaz... rain seem to be able to wash away every problem i have, but i mean seem, afterall i will not be able to wash away any problem i have... -sigh- but forget it... let talk about something happy... Christmas is coming and i yet buy any Christmas present, think i need to fork out some time these few day before Christmas to have some shopping, again, there will be a bigger hole in my pocket... =(, nevermind, i will save again after Christmas...( anyone wanna accompany to have some Christmas shopping) hahaz... there will be a lot for me to shop... =\
Thursday, December 18, 2003
suddenly i feel very scare... time pass by very fast... and i haven do much during my holiday.. i haven be revising my work or finish doing my homework... my sec 3 work are already in a mess and i haven do a single thing to help it... i really feel very scare... what shall i do.. i shouldnt be wasting anymore time in playing and be more concentrate in my sch work... say is easier than to be done... isnt it... though i am going up to sec 4, but i still not familiar with my sec 3 works... what am i suppose to do, how am i suppose to take o level in this situation?? i am really afraid if i cant make it... i must really do well in my a math, pure phy and chem, if not i have to really choose one of them to drop, which i really dun wish to, afterall i have come this far... i should not be giving up... but how... anyone can help me?... i feel like crying out loud, but suddenly i cant... is it that i have forgotten how to cry or is it that i have no time to cry... i really dont know... please god ... let me cry... i think it could be better for me isnt it.. or else let me forget everything, forget him, forget everything in my mind, so that i wont be dreaming all the time, dream of those thing that are impossible, will not ever come true... making a fool out of myself...?? is it wonderful?? but there a mountain my my heart, a mountain that i want to walk up with a special person, to watch the sun rise, sun set and everything.. but if that person choose to climb other mountain or maybe he choose to do nothing, i will try to demolish the mountain forever, i get sick of walking up the mountain myself and sit there waiting for someone who i dun even know remember me not... i would rather choose a more stable path...
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
today has been a great day for me... went shopping with my parent... it has been a long time since i went out with them... so happy... when to many places today... think i dont need to waste time saying where i have been to right... haha...do i sound like any kid that is so happy when daddy mummy bring them out... haha... as i had say we went to a lot of places.. of course i also buy a lot of thing... haha...so happy... but that also mean my parent pocket have one big big hole... heex... just having my dinner... hmz... or rather supper...( look at the clock) hahaz.... KFC feast !!~~... hahaz... seldom my parent will allow us to eat all these food... say what not healthy for health or what.... but today they so good let us eat.... haha... happy happy happy... heex... just back home... still cannot bath yet cause eat too much already... hahaz... die... i a bit crazy already... hahaz... spent too much money today... though that no my money... but... i still need to save money to buy Christmas present... haha... wallet no money already... need to save for Christmas present and of course my dream digital cam... -sigh-
" A great love is when you shed tears and you still care for him, it's when he ignores you and you still long for him. It's when he begins to love another and yet you still smile and say I'm happy for you"
is it really that true when someone make you cry, you must still care for him, y should i be bother to care for someone who does not care for me, who always make me cry for no reason... why still long for someone when he ignores you... shall i still smile and say I'm am happy for you when he love another... shall i? it is easier to be say than to do, i still care for him, long for him, but i just cant say that i am happy when he love another... but what can i do... he met her first, like her since a long time, even now she has a boyfriend, he still wait for her, always waiting for her... giving no one a chance...suddenly i feel that there is a black hole within me. no matter how much i stuff myself with, i still feel the infinite emptiness within. my chest feels heavy and all i hear is myself breathing...
sorry to say this in this manner, but please... don't assume you all know me well. don't think that you all can ever read my mind, or tell anything from my expressions. do not tell me to do the obvious, or even sound didactic if you are not in the position. that's the way i am, im happy with that, unless you are someone special enough to me. or else dont even try to think you fully understand me...
i have learnt to move on
without the world
as i know the world will still move on
without me.
the skies do not cry for me.
it also does not stop crying,
because of me..
still, i have to move on.
without the world..
isnt it true?
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
there a mountain in my heart, i want to walk up to the peak of the mountain with him and sit down to admire the scenery, even thought there onli 0.01% of chance, i still dun want to give up... if i still always believe in waiting, will it come true...
