another day has gone.. feeling very low today..dun seem to have the strength to do anything, cant seem to do weel in anything i do... -sigh- i suddenly seem i am standing at a bus stop... i had already miss my first bus, just beacause i dont dare to go up... i am also missing my second bus for the same old reason, there one more bus left... will the result be the same as the previous 2... what shall i do?

[ Yi Shi De Mei Hao- Zhang Shao Han]
this song best descibe how i feel now

lala~ dun feel like blogging today... so shall make it short... today den realise that i am a unrealist dreamer , a failurer... and i shall remain as what i am for the rest of my lives...

ps: cant really say i feel nothing at all, but nothing gonna change in whatever i say right....nothing gonna change...

Gareth Gates- Say it isnt so

Skies are dark its time for rain
Final call you board the train
Heading for tomorrow

I wave goodbye to yesterday
Wipe the tears that hide your face
Blinded by the sorrow

How can i be smiling like before?
When baby you dont love me anymore

Say it isn't so
Tell me your not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
But this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know, I dont wanna let go
So say it isnt so

Ten to five at least we tried
We're still alive but hope has died
As they closed the door behind you
Whistle blows the turns of steel
Shake the ground beneth the wheels
As I wish I never found you

How can I be smiling when your gone?
Will I be strong enough to carry on?

Say it isn't so
Tell me your not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
But this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know, I dont wanna let go
So say it isnt so

Miles and miles to go
Before I can sing
Before i can lay my love for you to sleep

Oh darling, no

I got miles and miles to go
before anyone will hear me laugh again

Say it isn't so
Tell me your not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
But this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know, I dont wanna let go

So say it isnt so

Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
But this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know, I dont wanna let go
So say it isnt so

If you wanna know, I dont wanna let go
So say it isnt so

another day have gone... today alot of ex manjusrian went back to collect their o level result, as usual some are happy saome are sad...really very score ... next year this time i will be the ones... hope i will be smiling then... hahaz... anyway... thought of dropping my pure sciences... really cant cope... maybe i will just join the combined science to get a better result to go to a poly... afterall the course i wanna go dun need science... so pure science doesnt really in my favour... hahaz... but still must discuss with my parent first... oh ya... today saw him again... dont really know how i feel lorhz...so what if i really... nothing will happen right...saw his friendster profile... written in relationship... kinda hurt somehow... but life still have to go on as what my teacher say... just follow where my feeling lead me to lorhz... even is not in my favour... hahaz... lala... whatever... live life to the fulliest.... cherish everyone around you... dont anyhow make anyone sad... oh ya... love everyone around you!! hahaz... SmiLeZz.... (",)

haven been postinf for about a week... last week was really a very bad week for a lot of us... and i shant mention what happen last week before...*soB*sOb* shall forget all that... alright i shall summarise what i have been doing all these day... hmz... have a geo test in mon, chem test on tues, social studies test on wed and have a physics test today... hahaz... i sure flunk my chem test this time again... -sigh-for the geo and social studies test... the paper was still ok... but no enough time to finish.... shall train my writting spped!.... haha... alright for the physics test.... is still ok... but the efficiency that question!!!... -sigh- dont talk about it anymore... hmz... talk about something nice... saw someone on tues and wed... long time never saw him already... haha... still as... *ahem*... hahaz... ok larhz... heard that he is studying business course... then saw him studying in school library but today he never come back.... ... think that he only come back to study for his subject then dont think will come back again... -sigh- oh ya... my secret now many people add ine more people know already larhz... because of that wing yin larhz... anyhow say... no true ok... hahaz... samuel also... at library talk so loudly... say what business course what address... that someone is just behind siaz... but dont think he heard that right ( an wei zhi ji yi xia)... lolx.... but everything they say no true hor... i then dont care what thing and what thing... so dont anyhow spread k... hahaz... lalala~ tomorrow will be my e-math paper.... hmz... last 2nd paper... still got a math paper dont know when test... -sigh-

oh ya... i should say something about the footdrill com last sat... first time in my four years in red cross manjusri participate in it... hahaz... *applaus* although never get into anything... but still think we have done very well... *applausx 10....* second time been to CHIJ , also because of red cross... then some of the people here last time also here... like.... hmz... ek and *ahem* someone else.... hahaz... after that went to eat KFC with a bunch of mjr rcy piggies( new name for youn all ... haha... just tot of that).... lolx.... then after that went to funa IT mall with shuting and koh mei... talk a lot of nosense there... hahaz.... then end up almsot 11 then reach home... lolx... quite a fun day... next year mjr rcy piggies also must participate in footdrill com ok? promise arhz... hahaz...

tomorrow will be the releasing of O level result... got to sit in the hall, the place fill with dense atmosphere, watching the student getting their result... really quite nervouse although not me taking... but next year that time i will be the one taking...at that time i will wonder how i feel... i shall update tomorrow how i feel when i watch at them taking result... although last year i did watch watch my seniors take... but that time still sec 3 ... no much interest in these thing yet... maybe my feeling will change... lolx... ok enough of that tomorrow e math test still haven study yet... shall do my very best!... haha... ok larhz... hope tomorrow can see him again... but dont think he will com back lorhz... unless miracle...? haha.... sMiLezZ~ '(",)'

I did it in 4 seconds.
I deserved an A++!!
Take the How Dexterous Are You? Quiz!!

Quoted from Ivan (navi)
zhiwei zhiwei.. I remember when i had problems.. U and ray would help me so willingly when i confided.. but.. why.. why didn't u do the same thing huh ? I feel guilty.. u were there for me.. but i wasn't there for u.. it's excruciating... but although we maybe worlds apart, continents apart, galaxies apart, realms apart... U'll always remain in our hearts... never forgeting all the fond memories we had... never forgeting all the jokes we always expected Although we may be worlds apart,you'll always remain in our hearts.
Since the moment we met,our friendship boomed like a jet.Happy moments we always get, brightening us when we're sad.You are kind & altruistic,in times of need you taught us to be optimistic.Because of experiences we shared,we always knew you cared.You taught us to live strong,as if life is like a happy song.Now these happy moments are no more,but for sure, we'll get over with this sore.Nevertheless feeling despondant we may,we really miss you is all we say.
To my friends, we must pull ourselves through this intricate ordeal no matter how painful it is.

let me grieve... jus allow me to cry... i cant just stop crying... i still could not accept the fact that he has left us... why... why him... why so silly.... but i think i should accpet that the chose this path to walk on...i should accept the decision he make... the chair and the table will be remove in a week or 2 times...... just felt that it had changes our life... forever ... today went to his funeral... holding a white christamtenmen on our hand and the crane and heart we did for him and a very nice very nice card with all our name on it... looking at his picture... as usual so handsome so cute with his blue jacket on smiling... we cried... as we sang the song we delicated for him... by emil "peng you"... all of us cry.... even the guy.... zhiwei is really a very nice very nice guy and a very very good friend and classmates for us... really sad... but we shall be strong... he also wont want us to be sad right... he will always be in our heart... forever and ever no matter where he was... i promised....

today is a tiring and sad day for all of us... and we will not forget the date 18 19 and 20 of feb 2004... cause it will always be in our heart... these day will also be the day when we will all meet together k?

you will always be forever in our heart... we will not forget you... no matter where you are... afterall we will meet one day... so muz wait for all of us at that far far place......

Exact these from frienster bulletin board... last word for zhiwei
Oi.. what happen to u? ming ming hao hao de. why lidat? u noe u make all of us veri sad not? especially ur lao po lorz.. hao u she de? haiz.. i noe msg u u sure won't reply de.tupid horx..
haiz.. but really got alot to say to u. haiz.. y u choose tis path? got thing can talk out de wat.. haiz... y so foolish? wat make u lidat de? u noe mei hui now veri ke lian not? den still remember after common test wan triple date de. haix.. see la.. break ur promise! haix.. erm..
anyway.. hope tat u at there happy always ok? erm.. ya.. smile often also.. eh.. also at there
dun go flirt other gals hor.. mei hui will angry de hor.. must wait for her hor... wan they we
all will join u there.. smile =p.. dun 4get us k... buaix.. take care.. u will always be
remembered by us k.. 4F'04 Exact from friendster from becca

yO.. pig prince .. u tis ben dan.. nv listen to mi.. left mi behind.. u noe how painful is it
for mi ma?.. er.. u still sae u xi wang he wo yong yuan kuai kuai le le de zai yi qi... all lies.. u promise mi not to!!! .. ye u did it.. maybe u think tat's the only resolution to your wadeva problem.. hai~.. but actualli its not.. u sae its thru all these problem tat stengthen our relationship.. yet u choose tis path.. but maybe it did strengthen our relationship.. before u told mi the decision.. u said u wanna stick wif mi forever oso.. but the decision u make will change tis.. how can u be so cruel to mi.. er.. u always liddae.. nv care bout my feelings.. do u noe tis path tat u chose had hurt so much pple? u always so stubborn.. hai~ but there's nth i can do rite.. i said i would follow u whenever u go.. but u said dun follow unless it's the right time.. er.. dun worry dear.. i wun let u wait for too long.. sure will join u soon (^.-)but i'm not so selfish.. at least muz earn lotsa of money for my parents.. den can go join u.. so wait mi k?.. u oso sae tat the
decision is not to break wif mi or push mi to other pple.. just tat it will change your dream to stick with mi.. so since u're not breakin up wif mi.. so we're still in a relationship.. you're still my bf.. n no one else gonna replace u.. fang xin (^.^) .. u ask mi find a better guy.. u har.. nv listen to ms cheong's CME lesson.. tat's no such thing as findin a better guy.. maybe yeah.. if i can find someone tat looks exactly like u, same character, nice, humorous, caring.. but not so stubborn.. hai~.. if u've listen to mi.. nth will haf happen.. actualli it is all my fault.. i din manage to persuade u.. n if mon afternoon i wasn't angry
wif u.. i din cry on tue.. den u wouldn't be sad.. den wouldn't haf tat stupid dream.. den tat irrational decision.. hai~ how can u make such a important decision juz becos of a dream.. n in one night.. u noe how much pple u disappoint? .. realli sad .. i'm realli tired le.. reassure i will nv forget u.. u're will always be the person tat occupies all space in my heart.. n nv will i forget u.. hee~.. u're a realli nice bf.. nice person.. but sometimes realli too nice.. hai.. nv will i forget the date 18/2/04 .. u break your promise ..when i join you afterlife.. sure slap u de.. u noe how painful izzit for mi.. realli sad.. everyone sad
for you.. hai.. but u've left beautiful memories for mi.. it's enuff for mi to pei mi continue tis walk in life..accept wanna write a testi for u.. but scare u cannot accept.. so i write here.. haa.. i noe u're just beside mi.. so can c wad i write for u rite.. muz wait mi wor.. think u should be happy.. u've fulfilled your
dream.. u wanna our love to be your first n last one.. realli last.. unless u find someone at tat far far place.. er.. but i still think tat u just somewhere beside mi.. dun worry.. i will defintely rmb such an important person called seah zhi wei existed in my life.. i tot we can realli go on forever n ever.. hai~ u broke my dreams.. whenever i think of you.. just feel like crying.. i noe u wouldn't wan mi to be
sad.. but if so.. y choose tis path.. i told u icant continue my life without u.. y u juz cant listen to mi.. er.. since u nv listen to mi.. i oso wun listen to u.. will wait till the day u wake up from tat long long slp.. but u're just in my heart.. you took my heart away when u
left.. hai~ .. kk.. it's my fault tat u haf tis decision.. sorry.. realli sorry.. my bad-tempered.. but u oso beri bad.. u sid tat u will gif mi pink flower next valentine.. where is it???!! u say la.. dot.. u're always lyin to
mi.. u break your promise.. but i wun forget de.. kk.. i will continue next time.. hope tis path u choose u will oso lead a happy life.. may u be happy always.. to my pig prince.. *hugs* lotsa kisses from me to you.. (^.-) Exact from friendster from meihui

Zhi wei.. it’s the second day.. I’m still crying… in school have to act normal.. but
still..cant believe u just leave us liddat..gone… like disappear into thin air liddat…so distraughted now…sad is understatement…. I just said goodbye to you on Tuesday.. u seem cheerful.. in fact.. everything u do is so cheerful.. so optimistic.. so positive.. never thought u’ll have suicidal thoughts.. even though I fren with u one year plus only.. u’re really a very dear fren to me.. and the greatest monitor I can ever have.. so many of us wanna ask you why.. you just leave without an explanation.. I thought this kinda thing only happen in tv.. never thought it will happen to us so suddenly… no letter for us.. does it ever occur to you how 4f will cry for u.. how 4f will miss you.. how big a loss it is to our class?? Cant your problems be sorted out?? Worst is mei hui.. so many of us.. wanna help her… wanna comfort her.. but who can understand the pain and the trauma she’s going thru?? U any idea how helpless she’s feeling right now… having the empty seat beside her..even teachers.. some who never teach u before.. also cry for you.. don’t u realize the importance u mean to all of us.. why u yi shi xiang bu tong?? There’s still so much that we need you around…bloody hell.. u are such a great hider… something wrong with u we all dunno… and
to think u have the heart to keep from mei hui ivan and Raymond… wat are ur close friends for man… And wat’s so impactful about the dream… that can make u come up with such a decision… u’re not living the world alone leh.. so many of your frens.. so many ppl who care for you… everyone’s in such a grieving state.. some dun even know how to continue living without you…. This is really pain lor… wat will lessons be like without ur jokes.. it’s bloody hell incomparable to failing a maths lor… why u think of death so lightly… why u think that your life is just a big joke???All that’s left are just memories.. and flashbacks.. have to talk about u in past tense.. that realy hurts a big deal.. and your parents.. gawd I just pray they find some strength to move on… somehow.. I know we’ll stop grieving you.. but the memories will linger..somewhere out there.. u’ll see 4f work together as a class.. to overcome o levels
together.. not to forget.. on feb 18 2004… a very nice and caring boy depart from this earth… leaving behind loved ones… forever living in our hearts.. fondly remembered in our mind..cant believe u can be so cruel.. it was really like mayday for us.. even the guys cried for u… why u think u not important to us ner?? Wat u think is lacking in your life ner??? Everyone is so helpless… cant blame anyone.. but cant get an explanation too… we’ll never know why… Life’s so precious.. u’re only 15.. has aspiring future..
dun u wanna see u and mei hui happily ever after.. how can u just desert wat the future holds for u….how can u just desert us liddat.. how can?? I stil have so much to talk to you.. so much to say how u mean to us…so much to thank you.. all the jokes.. all the concern u’ve showered for 4f.. we haven take graduating
photo.. then u leave us… u still haven got to wear our class t shirt.. then u gone.. u just step out of our lives liddat…I see the empty seat… I wanna believe u’re on a long MC… u’ll return someday… but u wont return…I dun wanna believe u’re gone… yrs later u want us pei you to the nice nice place where u are now… the time will come where 4f will be together again… I promise… it’s so hard to say goodbye… if only u could see the tears we shed for you… it’s so hard to pick up our lives.. all the suffering we’re going thru…why u wanna see us liddat… everyone behaving like zombies…tell me.. how to be strong again when our pillar of strength is gone… how some of us wanna smile just to mask our sorrow.. how some of us just let the tears flow… your demise transformed all of us…we’ll never be the same again… and wherever u are..
just know that…mei hui’s heart is really excruciatingly painful…we are equally heartbroken… and may you be happy… in this path that you’ve chosed… may u be freed from all these troubles pain problems stress that u had… the moment u left us.. is the moment when the
sun stops shining for 4f… Exact from friendster from koon

really very sad... really didnt expect he suddenly like that left us, he really change all of us... nothing can ever be the same before... i no longer able to see him waiting for bus at the bus stop in the morning and board the same bus... in the same class having lesson, the the joke he always make... no longer will it ever happen... tears start to low down our eyes again this morning when mr gui talk to us... we are really very sad... why did he like that left us...so irresponsible right... want so many people to cry for you... sad for you.. no longer be able to see you whenever i turn my head... hai~ after reading those msg from becca koon and meihui... almost cry out... really dunch wish that to happen... but nothing gonna change after what i say right... mr gui is right... we have to be strong... after this thing... we will be stronger.... today a lot of people cam to our class after school to help in folding crane and other thing for zhiwei... manage to fold 1000 crane and dunno how many heart and flower for him... hope his parent will allow us to go for his .... tomorrow... we really hope to see him for the last time... we have to still carry on with our life.. though we still dunno why he make such decision... because of that dream... no one know... but he will always be fondly remembered by us in our heart forever... our kind, caring good... and many many good point guy forever... as what others had mention... we will soon one day meet each other again at that far far place... so must wait k... then we 4f '04 can be together again... (",)

very tired today... really all of us are tired... why he did it... he know all of us will be sad, will cry... why he still left us... without saying anything... why... so suddenly... so suddenly...it will definetly take the whole class and friend of his a long a very long time to heal... we just cant accpet it... why is he so silly to end his life... we will always be there for him... esp mh... but why...nothing say now can ever changes anything, the only thing we can do is to treasure all our friends... no one can understand how we feel now... how is it like to lose a good friend forever....

we will always be there for you... we promise, even you are no longer there... you will always be in our heart... you will forever be fondly remembered.... always... you are the best classmate we ever had....

haven been blogging for the past 2 days... kinda busy with al my school work... hardly have any time to sleep, dont need to say to come online... everyday have lesson until 3 then back home still got lot of homework... -sigh- feel like sleeping for 1 whole day... very tired now... still haven finish my homewrok... just cant seem to concentrate all those math question... Arggg.... back to my homework... or else i wont have to sleep tonight... tata~ sUgaRZ dreAMz EvRyoNe~~

happy valentine... have a great day today... at least i am not alone... thanks for my friends for accompanying me see movie.... went to school early in the morning... train about 3 hrs for the footdrill... so tired... after training rush to my tuition... got a surprise test today... hmph... some dont really know how to do... after that went to meet up with ming ssk daph shuting and boon they all.. haha but in the end , end up only me ming ssk and boon went to see Gothika, a nice show indeed... although a 2 hr show... we only see 1 hr another one hrs hidding behind our bag... lolx... but i just love horror movies... although quite not worthwhile larhz... hahaz... thought of watching cold mountain... heard from my friend not bad.. ( from what the story she read from her book) but must see first...already bankrupt... nowadays waste too much money on movies and blah blah blah thing... must save money le... tomorrow still got tuition... sianzatioNz~~

happy valentine day.... hope you have a wonderful day today...

about one more hour to valentine day... tomorrrow morning still got training... went for the meeting for the combined POP today... lot of thing still left no done... must complain... that who hor... went for the previous meeting... then everything never tell us... also never plan... now everything no done yet... how~~... nevermind... the pop at may... so not so bad yet... we in charge of the ceremony... so lot of thing for us to do, confirm and to cooperate with... phew...still got the show on that pop day, who will be the parade commander, RSM, flag barrier and the commander... all still haven decide... got to do something before the next meeting... -sigh- today just finihs my second paper chinese.... it seem quite easy... =) heex... have a training today after school... their drill is still not good... eddie tomorrow wont be able to come down to help us... -sigh- what shall we do... one more week left... how to make chicken fly...~~~ YaWn~ tomorrow will be a busy day for me... mroning training and after that still got something one... i should be free after 330... still haven prepare my full u... -sigh-
happy v-day to everyone~ hope your plan for v day will change and wont be alone =)

3 more days to valentine day... -sigh- hmz... spend the almost 4 hrs at ssk house with vien doing chocolate... lolx... very tired... manage to do about 50 small chocolate like that( that for me larhz) but... the outcome not really good... =\ haha nevermind... after all is just give them to my classmate one... got to improve my skill... heex wonder how will it look like when i harden... haha... all still in my fridge... got to see it tomorrow morning... alright...me got a great plan for valentine day... of course i wont be alone cause... in the morning, i will be having red cross training for the footdrill com... after that i will rush for my tuition... hahaz... see i wont be alone.. hmz... but after that.... still planning... dont know what to do yet... any suggestion?? slack at home...? hahaz... anyone wanna date me out... quite free after my tuition... dont know what to do yet... lolx...

tomorrow will be the starting of the first paper for common test... english.... then tomorrow still got physics class test... still have not study yet... -sigh- very tired... but still have to study right... yawn~ hope common test faster over~~~ -_-"""

dont really have much time to blog today... feel sleepy now.. hmz... maybe i will just briefly descibe what i have done today... as usual... sunday dont really like a sunday for me this year... in the morning went for my physics tuition... spend 3 hrs for phy tuition... actually only 2 1/2 hr one!!!... nevermind... get use to it larhz... then after that went to my a math tuiton at 3... -sigh-... tuition whole day... =( then did nothing much... went home after that... on my way home in bus 135 saw something rather funny...2 guys or rather 3 guy keep holding each other or pulling each other... hahaz... make me think that... they... hahaz... ok that the most interesting time i have for this whole day... after that went home start rushing homework to hand in tomorrow... dont really have time on sat to do it... flag day mah... take up my whole sat... hahaz... common test starting this wed...still have not prepare for it... somemore footdrill com coming... will be busy for the following weeks... -sigh- valentime day coming... but is noy my problem anyway... it is just another day for me.... nothing special for me afterall i wont have any plan to it... -sigh-

A so call video my ex- senior had done... thought is a bit blur... but still nice... bring back lot of nice memories back... =)Nice Memories
a photo of us take during 2003 school anniversary ~~

photo of red cross at old folk home~

group photo of us at East coast park~

picture of of "F4" and "shan cai" hahax...

our very good ex-YO~ Ms EveLyN LaI... too bad she transfer school... =""(

Another Ex-YO of OuRs... VerY gOOd aLso...~ mR LiM sEow LeOng~~

both are our YO but too bad... they transfer school the same year... sad~ -sigh-( they are at least 100 % better than... *ahem*... forget it... )


Photo of me and my ULC course mate...

another one~ during our lunch at camp

during recuirment exercise

a nice scenery at east coast park... but too bad i not in there... not yet reach there still at school...

a nice one at haw paw all during our POP


look back at all these photos... really bring back a lot of memories... both sad and happy memories... those time when we go mad together and when those time we got scolding from the sirs and mdms... my batch was ever so united as one... one got scolded...we will hope for all get scolded together... if something done wrong, even if not our fault, we will all confess that we did it... the feeling was beyond words... but i dont think we have much time being together , to have the same time as before... all of us are already stepping into the life of a sec 4 students... 4 mths later we will be taking our first paper for o level... and after that we will all be busy for our examination... after sec 4... different people will go to different school... so dont really have the chance to go mad together or kanna scolded together... -sigh- dont really think i have regret joining red cross at all...( although i put red cross at my last choice during my sec 1) but during these 4 years... it really change my whole view about it... though our unit is small, but is warm... really like being a cadet... really like the time i have during these 4 years... the time with the red cross cadets... =)

today went for training for about 2 hrs??? for the footdrill com.... hmz... dont really know what to say about it... hahaz...watch the junior train for footdrill com... really wonder if we wanna give up... hahaz... spend about 1/2hr standing there talking to eddie sir about the footdrill... after the talk... then i realise that how weak we are... hope we wont "malu" ourself at the parade square and hope will do all the command "sui sui"(nice nice).... hahaz... today good larhz... saw E, during morning training at school... haha... actually wont get to see him one... cause he walk at the back at the school then i having training, facing back ... haha... but dont know why i turn around... then saw him... heex... but hor... beside him got 1 mjr girl.... hmz... nevermind... that doesnt mean anything right... heex... if got thing... also nevermind... 23 years old... too old... hmz... ayai... what am i talking about... =P forget it... hmz... back to what i have done today... went to bedok CC today for the flag day... very long queue... took me about 2 hrs to take the tin~~ -sigh- after that rush to my tuition... then dont have time go to HQ for the meeting... sad( for some reason... heex) nevermind... next time got chance then see J lorhz...so tired... tomorrow still got 2 tuition...~ -_-"""

YozZ~ a photo of eddie... hahaz... someone "tou pai" him during the sec 1 orientation... lolx... actually got one of him upper naked one( wei~ dont say i "pian tai" hor... taken during the BBQ at east coast park when we sabo him under he all wet) hahaz... but the photo at wl there... gonna take back from him... hahaz...

yeppie~ just taken my temperature... back to 36.2 degree Celsius yuHooo... haha...1 more hr or so training will start... hahaz... got to work hard for it... footdrill com coming...~!~!~! later still got flag day and tuition... think wont be able to make it for the meeting at hq.... sad~ alright... got go go... wait later late... then not good... hee...

i feel sick... just taken my temperaure... 37.7 degree Celsius -sigh- wonder whether i will be fine tomorrow...

5:30 in the morning now.. about one more hour for me to revise my test once again before going to school... but somehow cant concentrate revising...
say what you will, this is better to left than never to have loved william congreve indeed it is better to left than never to have loved... being love is a bliss, loving somone is sometime a hurt, i perhaps everyone know it... but knowing that loving somone is sometimes a hurt... there still people rather being hurt than getting the bliss. just to quote something out of my chinese compostion... some people say... when you saw the people you loved is happy... you will somehow be happy too... when u saw the ones you loved is sad... you wont be happy ... ones who loved another would definetly hope the ones she/he loved be happy always dont really know how i actually wrote this out... but is it really that truth?i am quite confused now... i had always believed that it is truth, but is it really truth..............

another day gone... did nothing much... tomorrow still got social studies test-sigh- still have not study yest... somemore friday still got chemistry and physics test... -sigh- this coming another flag day for NKF... got to work hard for it!! hmz... heard that there will be a meeting for chair and v chair at hq this coming sat... dont think i will be able to make it... got tuition~ sAd~ -sigh- see whether i could make it after my tuition... today PE having softball lesson... so fun... our group manage to win to the score of 7-1 hahaz... hope next week will play again... common test coming... got the timetable this morning... next week starting already... not yet revise... -sigh- somemore footdrill com coming on 21 feb... hmz... 17 more days only!!.... did nothing yet... how... think got to ask ed sir to help us about it... -sigh- ... think i did too much sighing today... -sigh- back to my mugging~

starting of a new week again... yesterday went to " he pang" with my parent... have a great time there and took lot of photo... hahaz... saw the sling shot... seems nice... but expensive... one adult price $30 then student price $12... thought of trying, but my parent dont want accompany me.... any one interested?? took a lot of photo but still in digital cam... lazy to upload yet... footdrill com is coming, but still haven even prepare for it yet.... -sigh- kinda buzy these few months... every weeks also got test then still need to attend remedia... dont really have the time to prepare for footdrill com... somemore common test is coming up... -sigh- lot of thing left incomplete...
back to my homework... ")
got this in someone blogger... thought that it is funny, therefore exact it out.. =)Cockroaches JokE

once again red cross flag day is over.. it flashes me back a lot of memory... back to when i was a still a sec 1 cadet... when we will still so innocent. when we first heard that we were going to the flag day...i still remember that our first response is.. " what? sell flag?? which flag ...school flag or singapore flag?" what a joke we have make. on the day of selling flag... all of us seem to be filled with fear and somehow a little bit of expectation... holding our very own tin, with our very own series number on it. no knowing where we were going, we board the bus and ahead toward the place where we make our first step out to selling flag... holding the tin, standing by the traffic light, i seem to be tranfixed...fear filled me up again... i was wondering how do i approach a stanger...what if they ignored me... what if.......... a lot of question seem to pop up to my mind... standing there looking at the crowd walking pass by and then look back at my tin, i dont know what to do.. just as i was pondering, a man from the crowd walk towards me a drop a coin inside my tin, it lit up a innocent smile( maybe i wasnt that innocent now...) i finally make out my first step and appoach stranger using phrases like " good morning sir/ madam, could u like to make some donation..." and it works... soon is the competition of whose tin is the heaviest, i still rememeber that we almost got the whole tin filled up...
this year had already been my third year in participation, as usual, standing my the traffic light approaching stranger for money, but the enthu back then was no longer there... everyone seem to sell the flag as they were told to... i shouldnt say that the competition of whose tin is heaviest is gone...there are still cadets competing on it... but just that the innconcent smile when got the first coin and feeling filled with fear and expectation could not be seen in cadets nowadays... unlike us in the past, they could approach a stranger easily... that good for them, but i just missed those days and the feeling filled with lot of fear expectation and questions.