i suddenly feel that i am really in deep trouble... what should i do now... he keep appearing in my mind nowsday...i have been going back to school everyday even though i am having my 2 weeks exam break now...i go abck to sch as an excuse to study... but is it really so...? i have been sitting directly in front of the staff room almost everytime i study....though there is a library with air con waiting for me , i still rather stay outside accompany by the mosquito... but what for...just to see him...?? seeing him walking in and out of the staff room...... going to canteen for lunch at 12 just beacuse he is there too..always wanting to wait for him to go before i willing to go.... what i want is just to see him.... i am sure that i lost complete control on myself... but knife seem to piercing through my heart when i see the ring.... blood was just flowing out non-stop and i did nothing about that.... i always pretend to be so strong... even the sky drop i also can lift i up myself... but am i?? can i do it?i feel so helpless but what can i do... nothing.... i try to smile try to laugh and act crazy infront of everyone and yet now my heart are crying loudly... tears just drop without me knowing... i cant control myself anymore.... why am i like this... why cant i like other girls like someone who is near their age... if so at least i can try.... but why am i always fell into someone who is older then me... ... ...so what can i do... that my fate mahz... i now really dun care what other people will say... i will no do anything... i confess that i have the feeling but whos care right.... i will just let my imagination run... i just cant stop having him appearing in my mind... today only saw him 4 times... for the whole 8 hrs.... -sigh- back to school tomorrow.......=P
i am yearning to see umbrella man....
