dun really know what should i blog today... my mind is still in a mess 我 真 的 要 放 弃 了 吗 ?我 到 底 要 的 是 什 么? i really dunno what i want now...maybe i should just put everything aside for the time being..如 果 注 定 是 我 的， 始 终 还 是 会 是 我 的 。 since he already say still so obvious le... wat can i do anymore... i really have no confidence anymore...really dun have... have been hurt too much....

have been thinking over and over... i dun wan to think... but the image keep coming back... i dun like it....why cant everything be more simpler...be more easy? why must it be so complicated... so difficult... i ask ppl not to think so much and follow what their heart want... but why i cant i do it? i cant dun think too much...but i follow what my heart truly wants... but it seems to be a path that i had taken...it makes me more hurt... did i really make the right choice? my head is really gonna burst le..its hurt...

have not been getting enough sleep nowadays... i keep myself busy everyday since the moment i wake up... till very late at night... i dun dare to let myself have a moment of rest or wat... it makes me thinks... i fall asleep only when i really couldnt take it... what am i suppose to do now... am i gonna continue life like this.. at least busy-ness can let me forget everything temporary....

have not been eating quite alot these few days too...partly is because of my gastric flu bahs... eat wat vomit wat... den also no appetite... 5 days le... have been only eating the most 1 meal a day only.. but yet i dun feel hungry... lost about 3 kg... haix... everyone have been worrying for me... i dun wan this to happen... have been putting up a strong front infront of others... acting to be happy... acting to be energetic... although i am completly wear out le...

dunno why loves to walk a lot nowadays... although trying to keep myself busy to prevent me from thinking...i still need to think... what am i suppose to do... ...
took only one bus to sch and back home today... didnt change any bus... in the morning, i walk all the way frm my hse to temple there to take 8 to sch den when going home drop off at temple there and walk back home... although i already left no energy le... i still insist on walking... i am just tt stubborn... i also dunno why... maybe tired myself a bit will let me forget all my problems bahs.. am i avoiding the reality?

my horoscope for today... it ask me to take a risk and dun hesitation... can i really do tt? have been taking too much risk already... i take the risk in asking him thing and get back the answer that i dun wan... should i take the risk again?... maybe the horoscope is right... i am hesitating now... so i have missed my important opportunites... i dun wan to let go my opportunities... but i am really very scare in taking any risk anymore...i dun dare to try anymore...i dun wan to hurt myself anymore... is enough for me already...really have no confidence... really....

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)[?]
The Bottom Line
Take a risk and jump right into the deep end! Today, hesitation will cost you.

In Detail
Can't decide whether to take the plunge on a big purchase, a new relationship or another potentially perilous venture? You may be acting too cautiously -- beware of second-guessing yourself. Right now, you might as well jump right into the deep end! Have the courage to face whatever happens, and (more importantly) have confidence in yourself. Hesitation and diffidence will only cause important opportunities to pass you by.

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Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)[?]
The Bottom Line
Sick of couples joined at the hip? It's time to take off on your own for a while.

In Detail
While observing romantic couples today, you might end up feeling confused -- so many people seem to be connected at the hip, and you are wondering what the benefit of that closeness could possibly be. Instead, you are enthralled by the idea of the lone traveler today -- someone who moves through the world without any obvious ties to anyone else. This could be your subconscious talking, suggesting that it's time to take off on your own for a while.

I AM JUST STUPID TO FALL FOR SOMEONE WHO DUN LIKE ME AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT I AM JUST THIS STUPID.... JUST LET ME BE .... I BEAR ALL THE CONSEQUENCE.... I DUNNO U SAY DUN LIKE ME BECAUSE U JUST WAN TO FORCE ME GIVE UP OR WAT... BUT I AM HURT...I DUN THINK I WILL HAVE ANY CONFIDENCE IN OTHER R/S LE....i cant be heal anymore... cant be... i am hopeless le...

being hurt too many times... being throw around too many times... get used to it le... really get numb le... sometime really dunno when is truth and when is lies... i rather that u tell me the truth den i accept it... but are u telling me the truth? dun just because u wan me give up den say those thing .... is not i dun wan to give up... just tt u didnt give me a valid reason... the reason strong enough to let me give up... when will we be able to face reality...

i dunno why i loves to cry alot nowadays... it just beyond my control...

why can be so many happenning just in 1 month.... although is only one month only... but it seems like a long years... why is it like tt? why?

how i wish i can just forget everything...

dunno wat to do anymore...really dunoo le.... i announce that i am DEAD... offically dead

went to bugis today after school to find a present for him... finally get something for his birthday le... happy happy... but dunno he like and need it not... still not really feeling well today... but wat to do... had to get his present ready... 8 more days to his birthday le... den tt day i think he working also... also dunno when can pass it to him... haix... somehow i still miss him... i know he wont miss me de.. everytime ask him got miss me? or ask him to miss him... he will just never reply... really sad... but wat to do? i cant do anything but just hope tt he will...

just wonder...why do other ppl still will care about me when i am sick... but to him... it seems nothing... like no big deal... is it really that he does not care about me anymore le...?is it? i really dunno what i am thinking also... tot decide to give up le... but just cant let go... can he really tell me what am i suppose to do? really miss him lots...

kinda feel that the distance between him and me become further and further le.. i dun really like this feeling... i really wanna know how he feel toward me now... but can i ask? how to ask?... haix....

watver.... rawr~~!!!

还是喜欢你
作词:王宗彬
作曲:周传雄
编曲:terence teo
sweety-还是喜欢你

只要能够远远这样看着你
看着你看着你
就算伤心心里还是好想你
好想你好想你
只要能够静静这样陪着你
陪着你陪着你
就算分手还是选择喜欢你
喜欢你喜欢你
我好希望整个地球
只剩下我和你
我就能勇敢的说我还爱你
我好希望我会忘记说
再见的声音
我不再回忆也不再伤心




this song really reflect how i feel now...well... i really dunno what to do....

pick up my courage and as him whether did he ever miss me...although i just say ask for fun... but he didnt reply me... i really dunno wat he is thinking now... wat am i suppose to do? haix... actually i also know that he wont reply me that... how i wish i can forget everything... anyway also give up in asking whether he got miss me or ask him to miss me le...

not feeling well still... dun blog too much le

i am feeling worst.... not getting better at all... 3 days le... still the same... my gastric 还是不听话。 dun really know wat to do... -sigh- no appetite these few day also... yet i dun really feel hungry.. maybe because my gastric pain till i numb le... also cant feel that i am hungry... didnt go to see any doctor... i also dunno why...maybe just feel that physically pain might at least make my emotional pain lesser a bit... silly thinkin right.. wat do i... i am just like tt... like wat my friend say... is my own body... i dun wan take care... other ppl also cant do anything... didnt really sleep well these few days also... i seldom will have sleepless night... the last time i had is when des got into trouble... now is the 2nd time... wth...why.., can he just make me so lost my mind... xiaoojin.. pls let go everything... pls.. dun make urself so miserable... pls... wake up very early in the morning le.. the moment i wake up, i think of him again... have the urge to msg him, but hold back... already told myself to give up... but just dunno why just cant...why am i so stupid and silly...why.. who can tell me wat to do?? really wan to msg him and ask 这几天， 你有想过我吗 ? 我生病了， 你担心过吗? 如果我发生了什么事，你会担心吗?你会伤心吗 ? really wanna ask... but i didnt have the courage... and if i ask.. is like forcing him to answer like that... so i choose to hold it back... i really dunno how long i can take it... these 3 days... already didnt eat much thing... my mum just give me a plate of kiwi... cause she scare that if i didnt eat anything... dunno wat will happen... so i just have to eat it... so not to let her worry... just finish it... and now i have the urge to vomit again.... haix... i really dunno what to do le... can someone just help me... i dun like it... i wan to rely on him... but it seems impossible ... dun wan to create more trouble forhim also le... enough prob for him.. ... ...

my only support now is des... but... he is not by my side... can time faster pass?? pls... i really dunno what to do now... and i dunno what i might do ... just give me up... anyone everyone jsut give me up...

still not well... well... at least i didnt vomit anything today... but also didnt get to eat much today... didnt even eat a proper meal... trying to concentrate on my project... but cant...physically... i am suffering from my gastric flu and pain... emotionally... i am still bother abt the prob... i wanna forget it but i cant... once i think of him... my heart just hurt... i also dunno why... am i tt serious this time round?? shouldnt be thinking abt it le... already say be friend... no more thinking xiaoojin!!!!!!

well... really not well... will not blog much today...

suffering from gastric flu since morning.... really damn not feeling well... whatever i eat or drink...i just vomit all out...the feeling is really lousy... really dun have the mood for the rest of the day... keep running to the toilet and vomit... even only when i drink water...i also vomit it out... haix...really feel very bad and sad lorhs... last time when i suffer from gastric flu... at least there is still des there for me... but now... only me alone.... how i hope there is someone there to care for me...to pull me to see doc all these... but wat to do... just day dream bahs.. did msg him today a few time and once casually say that i did vomit... but he either seems busy... or just "fu yan" me type just reply me a few words... well... wat can i do anymore... dun wanna say anymore... is my gastric anyway... so no other ppl business.. wat for going around telling other... haix.. but have the want for him to care for me... yet.. wat can i do abt it...he doesnt care... so just be it bahs... have the urge to vomit again on the way home when my stomach didnt even have anything left. bear all the way from tp to home... when reach void deck, finally cannot take it and vomit all the water i drink out... haix... i cant even drink a single drop of water... haix... really feel very lousy... who can just show me a bit of care....

thanks my dear bro... when he heard that i suffer from gastric flu....he ask me at least get some food and even offer to bring me a cup of water.. thanks ar... but really dun feel like eating... although the whole day i didnt really eat anything...haix... really not feeling well... wat should i do... i m still bother by the 是否应该继续，还是注定要我放弃。issue... haix... i should go to rest le

是否应该继续，还是注定要我放弃。

i also dun really know what i wan now... to many prob facing out... and i just really dunno what i really wan. there a lot of decision for me to makes... and i really scare that i might regret any of the decision that i choose...是否应该继续，还是注定要我放弃。both issue require me to think that whether i should continue or should i give up, but if i continue in one thing, i will have to give up in another... my head is really going to burst. reply to des letter ytd... he ask me to have a serious thought of getting back together with him... and i really dunno wat to do...cause there someone keep appearing in my mind... i really feel very bad toward him, it seems like is unfair to him, but view in another way, it seems unfair to me too...10 mths is really a long way...it is already pass 4 mths soon... so another 6 mths to go...so the same question back to my mind...是否应该继续，还是注定要我放弃。well... if ask ppl, definely some will ask me to wait while other just say follow ur feeling goes... but my feeling now is like a whirlpool.

well i will just named that somebody as "B". well did actually being together with B for a while...just a while, the feeling with him was great,comfortable,fun,and nice. it really great being with him, the way he talk, accompany me and even his msg could brighten up my day... really...but prob did face up... at first before we really get together, is the prob his and another ger, after that he know who he really like den we get together , although is just a short period, it really seems like we go through a lot to be together, but maybe not tt lot... soon after we get together, another prob happen, is not his fault totally... i am actually someone who does not express my feeling verbally, i prefer to use sms or wat first cause i find it hard to say it out,but if i got something to say, i dun like to hide it in my heart... well that part of the issue that lead to the prob that face out.after i tell him the thing i wanna say, he start to think whether is better to be friend first cause of his probs and he dun wanna see me sad because of him... well.. i dun wan to make him sad too... i know it doesnt feel good. he really try his very best everytime to make me smile.. but sorry if sometime i seems unhappy.. i wanna solve the prob with him, but he just stubbornly want to solve it himself... wat to do? no matter wat i say ... he just wan to solve it himself...even as a friend, i also dun wanna see him sad or wat... it just doesnt feel good. but wat to do,same question...是否应该继续，还是注定要我放弃。i also dunno,for time being i will just have stand silently by his side and see what i can do lo...i dun like to give up easily.. so yah... maybe that one of my weakness too... if i can give up thing easily.. maybe i wont have all these prob le... haix.. just walk one step see one step bahs..he should know wat i want, but i also dunno wanna add more stress to his prob... so... just be it bahs...i also have my own prob which i never tell him or anyone...so i think friend is a better choice too...

my feeling now is like adding salt to the wound... guess i really need a long time to heal myself... dun really think i am any ready to get into any relationship for the time being. i get very serious when it come to relationship, and that might be my another weakness bahs... if i dun take every relatioship so seriously, maybe i wont get hurt so much . but that cant be change la... i want to treat my close one seriously thus i hope they will treat me seriously too, but i never regret in treatin ppl seriously... so please ppl... treasure me... dun hurt me again... i dunno how more long i can withstand, i might just break down anytime... so please...i now trying very hard to put on a strong front, i dun like to show others my feeling, cause if i really show, im sure that i will change the atmosphere to very bad... thus i tend to smile before others, i wan other to feel happy and not sad just because of me...it is better to just let me sad alone, rather than making others worry for me right? so guys... if u happen to see me putting on my mask... pls act as u never see, dun pull down my mask, dun make me miserable,cause i am used with my mask....

i also dunno why... when i am writting all these... my tears keep flowing down... just cant control.. but thanks goodness no one is at home... haix... stupid mood these few day.... alot assignemnt gonna due le... yet i have alll these prob... really not in mood in any work... haix.. but wat to do...

xiaoojin... u got to endure... nth is impossible de... tml will be a better day!! haix..hope so bahs..
是否应该继续，还是注定要我放弃。。。really hope that i can get an ans soon... and a satisfying answer too... really hope so... well... i shall keep myself busy for the time being... stop thinking all these thing le...走一步,看一步 bahs... ~~~always look on the bright side of life~~
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Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)[?] The Bottom Line
Controversy will keep everyone out of your hair -- you'll make great headway.

In Detail
Controversy will be your ally today. It will create a nice, loud, distracting noise that will keep everyone busy -- and out of your hair! You will need all the elbow room and autonomy you can get today, as it's the perfect day to put new ideas to work. Get in some of that research, planning or organizing you need to do as early in the day as possible. By late afternoon, people could be hovering around you again, looking for the answers only you can give.

===================================================

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)[?]
The Bottom Line
Today the world will take special notice of you! Expect a surprise advance.

In Detail
Today your energy is so bright and engaging that it's downright obnoxious -- so naturally, the world will be taking special notice of you! Expect some advances from people who might not care whether you are single or not. Put an end to any uncomfortable situations as soon as they start. Silence may be seen as compliance, so be sure to speak up if you're feeling uncomfortable or manipulated. The good news is that you are also attracting friends to spend more time with you. Get ready for a reunion.

================================================

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)[?]
The Bottom Line
Make a last push in the direction you want things to go. You're at a critical point.

In Detail
Don't look now, but you have reached a critical point with someone you are caring more and more about. All you need to do is make one last push in the direction you want things to go, and this person will finally communicate the message you want to hear. This isn't about forcing someone else to give you your way -- rather, it's about proving that you mean what you say. You'll get a lot of points for follow-through today. Be consistent in your actions, and you'll get what you want.

hello guys... hahas... my last post was dated back to 16 jan... hahas... it has been exactly 1 week den i never blog anything... well... a lot of things happen during this one week... ups and downs... happiness and sadness...

well... 18-20 jan was tp open house... lols... was damn busy... for these 3 days work frm 9am to 6pm like tt... tp was damn crowded with ppl lo... but overall was fun... those cheer, those shouting, those touring... all gonna make me lost my voice... hahas... but overall FUN!!!! hahas...

oh ya... i had ben and jerry's ice cream tt day.... (strawberry cheesecake!!) hahas... took a photo of the napkin





1st day of open house(18th)...
haha.. busy day for me... cmsk report submission day and swen lab test... hahas.. has been rushing here and there lo... hahas... den after that take bus with eve and home sweet home we goes~~

2nd day of OH(19)
hahas..... same routine at open house lo... that day do until quite late la... cause got to learn i-guides dance after OH... which took us an hr to learn... lol... den funny de... after tt all rush to take attendance den go off... hahas ...went with joc,px,hf,wl and doris to opp tp for dinner... hahas... had "zi cha" lol damn full lo... esp the tom yam soup... hahas... in the end all push to hf to drink... hahas... den after that met calvi to walk walk around... den went to pasar malam on the way home... hahas... damn funny lo... on the bus see pasar malam den alight..after that he send me home... ya... really happy happy day... lalalala....cause ...(something something)

3rd day of OH(20)sat~~
last day of OH le... well... feel kind of sad la... afterall have been together with these grp of ppl for a while le... after this OH... will seldom have time to meet up le ehs... bad weather tt day... keep raining and raining... somemore i stand at bridge den the back of my shirt all wet lo... sianx... hahas..hmmm... someone actually ask if i wan him bring jacket for me de... but raining la... i scare trouble him... somemore i already wet le mahs... so i say dun need lo... but thanks!! happy happy... lalalaa... actually at night wanna go for the jam and hop de... but when we go there... like very little ppl... duhz... we stay for a while den we go off le... hahas... went opp tp for bubble tea den joc they all buy chicken wing den sit at void deck there to eat...actually suppose to met calvi de... but... sorry la... have to make u wait... >.<... den after that walk around with calvi around tamp den very late le no choice, he send me home in cab... ya... lalalala

Sun....

met calvi for dinner and movies that day after his work... really feel bad la..so tired le still make him come out... had ajisan for dinner and watch pans labyrinth... hahas... not a bad show... hmm...maybe because of other things... hahas... crap la.... lol... den after that walk around tamp again lo... hahas... fun la... =)=)=)=)=)=)... walk till quite late... have to take cab again... lol... sorry to make u waste money again... >.<... overall... a great date... hahas...

my seat number!!!








his seat number!!








hahas... that for dinner....at AJISEN!!!!!! hahas... a nice dinner... he had a black pepper beef and dumpling for side dish while i had something that i dun rem...lol.. just rem that is so salty... and a fried tofu... yummy yummy~~~





Mon~~
SADS submission... omg... that was making me crazy... didnt really sleep well the night before... den the lesson was 8am in the morning lo... thanks goodness calvi gave me a morning call... if not i will be still snoring away... wx and joc both take mc tt day so left with me and eve only... hahas... rot with her all day... den after sch met calvi again... before that had a small prob with him la... den was kidding with him tt i dun wan meet him le... den he so fierce like tt...know he dun like ppl put areoplane i still dare kidding with him these... i dunno how to die sia... den after that still manage to meet him... that liven up my feeling a bit... maybe not enough sleep or wat de... so a bit lifeless then face no expression... but he still manage to try his best to make me smile la...den after that we walk to safra there de bus stop to take bus go home... haix... den when reach my hse there... got prob again... big big big prob.... haix... all because of stupid me la... should think before i say or do anything... my brain really useless sia... haix... dun wanna talk abt it anymore... haix...sit around my neighbourhood de garden for a while before i went back home... really a bad and sad day for me... but word once say... action once done... cannot be taken back le... well... no matter how i wish to turn back time... i cant... i can only face it and wait le... well... take a step and see one step bahs...
really sorry if i am realy stupid and do or say something that hurts anyone..
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i really feel bad...................... bad bad bad... who can ever understand how i feel... well... i am just simple... i just need a person there for me whenever i need... i cant possible ask for more... cause i not worth more than tt...


kind of sort out my thinking le... well... nth can be done... so just walk one step see one step... that all i can do now... i kinda of blur now also le... dun really know wat i exactly wans also le... maybe time is all what we need now.. =D

well... blog long enough le... hope that tml will be a better day for me... and for you... =)

well.... kind of busy these few days, or i shall say for the following weeks till like 1 weeks before CNY, i will be damn busy with all those stupid assignment, then after CNY i got to take my main examination before i will be off for a long holidays... well... say long not long... cause i still have lots of assignment on hand.... ARGGG i am getting crazy... well... these are the following things i need to complete by this week
1) CMSK report writing
2)SWEN Lab test
4)SADS Assignment
5) Economics Report (3 of them ...shall finish by this week and show tutor on next week for feedback oMG!!!)

so by this week and next week... i will be able to clear my CMSK and SADS assignment... 2 jobs down and i will still have 4 more to goes... i shall start planning my works le... arg.... the worst is i am not in any mood to do anything... rawr!!!!

thurs , fri and sat will be down for i-guides... 3 days waste again... arg... 3 days lesser for me to complete everything... omg... i wanna die le la...

xiaoojin is mad~~

why am i having this kind of feeling... i wake up in the morning and i had a kind of fear feeling... i just dunno why... it makes me so scare... what happening? just hope everything will be fine with me and my close ones... haix..i dun like this feeling at all... it makes me think and think...arggg!!! who can i turn too sia... arggg!!!i suppose no one can help... cause i dun even know wat the roots to it... thought of msging my friend abt it.. but i also dunno how to put it in... well.. just forget it... dun wanna disturb him too much also...

haix...hope everything will be fine.... *pray*

is raining day again... miss my morning the economic lecture....wake up le... but just dun have the mood to go... didnt really sleep well yesterday night also... haix... think i too depend on him le... xiaoojin xiaoojin... wake up a bit can!!!! i dunno why i am having this kind of feeling...i really wonder what going on yesterday...theres no one i can turn to... haix.... sometime i really tell myself that... dun take it too hard.. but i just cant control... i just keep thinking and thinking and kept all things to myself.. i not in any position to ask about anything right? if not it seems like i am stepping my legs into too many thing.although i say that i will take it everything as he never say before... but say is really easier than doing it... really dunno wat to do about it.. simply dun have mood in doing anything.. i am just anxious about what will happen in the future...i have the wants to talk to him, to meet him, to see him,but i dun have the courage or position to tell him that...take a step at a time? how am i suppose to do that when my heart is feeling so different from normal.A simple msg from him will simply brighten up my whole day.i also dunno wat happen.talk to him is like so comfortable, so enjoyable, even though just some emm.. ah... reply makes a great different too.haix... xiaoojin... wat are u thinking actually... he dont really know how u feel right... even he know.. nth will happen also de... pls wake up!!! dun daydream anymore... stop having the desire of ppl caring abt u... there isnt any such privellge for u...

but i dun wish to let go... really dun wan... but did i really hold on to it before...? maybe i shouldnt think too much that day and reply him, everything might be different... well... too late...

hahas... it seems to be a long time since i last blog le ehs? not really busy la... just getting lazier and lazier le... hahas... i am xiao zhu!!!

hmm... ytd damn suay de lo... wake up early to go for apel and marketing but whos know... there is no marketing lo... wah lao... den got 4 hrs break lor...thanks goodness there is wan xuan acc me for the few hrs... den after that met calvi for lunch, went opp school to eat...it was raining and soooo cold lo... hahas...den after that walk walk around with him den headed back school for 1 hr de lesson... hahas... damn stupid right? den after the 1 hr lesson... met calvi again as i forget to change my hp batt with him... hahas.. anyway is nice of him willing to change with me his batt... cause my batt is running low... thanks wor.walk around and sit down a while to chat after that i headed back to school again le...thought of meeting him for a while after school de... but something crop up la... hahas... nvm...

hmmm...well someone ask me a question that night... well, actually i am quite happy to hear that qns, but i dunno why tt time i dunno how to ans... maybe i just lack of some confidence in myself bahs... den after that he cont talk abt this and that... den i also dunno why become very sad and unhappy... duhz... wat wrong with me sia... *kok myself* den i still say out things that i dun mean de lorhs... haix... really regret... but wat to do... i already say it out...if he really go ask... i also dunno can do wat... hmmm so... take one step see one step bahs... just hope everything goes well....=) kinda having this mix feeling... rawr... i always have this stupid habit of not saying things out... duhz.. i must change...!!!

anyway thanks calvi for morning call me ytd... if not i really will late for sch.. thanks ^^

just back home after the i-guides packing day.... I AM BORED!!!!!!! CAN SOMEONE PLEASE ENTERTAIN ME.... haix...

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to anyone if i am rude or do smthing wrong to u all... i dunoo wat i am doing now.............



i just know that ....


im bored...


im bored...


im bored...


im bored...


im bored...


im bored...


im bored...


im bored...


im bored...!!!!!!



anyone just ask me out... cause i am damn free... i can entertain u guys FOC... -.-'''


i am JUST BORED....

well... after the previous post that i have blog... everyone seems to be bothered abt it... hahas... so i gonna have something happy today if case anyone think that my most all sad sad de.... so there it goes..










i am happy...









i am happy...









i am happy...









i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...i am happy...






well.... isnt this a happy post?? ^.^

today is the beginning of the new year 2007... but suddenly i feel so unhappy...somehow i just feel that i am just a nobody with no friends at all..i once loves to be alone... the feeling is just beyond words... care abt nobody and nobody will cares abt wat u do... but do i really like tt? i dun think so... who dun wans ppl to care abt them and be with them... i am not the exceptional ones... but wat to do... sometime... things are hard to say and control... i can say that i am rather not social-able ... i dun really know how to mix well with ppls and definely dunno how to maintain and keep an on going r/s with them... it is hard for me to find someone i can get along with...although it might seem to other that it is very easy for me... but who really know it? it's really tiring putting on a smile all the time,although i am sad, angry, unhappy....who will actually know how i really feel deep inside... it has never been a time that i am really happy at all... but it doesnt really matter already... cause i have already get use to everything.. in this reality... a mask is all i need...if that can make everyone happy... nothing matter to me right?lets not debate on whether im happy or not...just take it as i am happy... and that its....well guys... dun bother too much about this post... im just venting out all my anger and frustration for the previous year... a brand new year shouldstart with brand new thing and i shall put down all the bad memories and things right... smilex.... Happy New Year 2007..

ps:i regreted to cut my hair...i look so nerd!!!! oMG!!!