dun really know what should i blog today... my mind is still in a mess 我 真 的 要 放 弃 了 吗 ?我 到 底 要 的 是 什 么? i really dunno what i want now...maybe i should just put everything aside for the time being..如 果 注 定 是 我 的， 始 终 还 是 会 是 我 的 。 since he already say still so obvious le... wat can i do anymore... i really have no confidence anymore...really dun have... have been hurt too much....
have been thinking over and over... i dun wan to think... but the image keep coming back... i dun like it....why cant everything be more simpler...be more easy? why must it be so complicated... so difficult... i ask ppl not to think so much and follow what their heart want... but why i cant i do it? i cant dun think too much...but i follow what my heart truly wants... but it seems to be a path that i had taken...it makes me more hurt... did i really make the right choice? my head is really gonna burst le..its hurt...
have not been getting enough sleep nowadays... i keep myself busy everyday since the moment i wake up... till very late at night... i dun dare to let myself have a moment of rest or wat... it makes me thinks... i fall asleep only when i really couldnt take it... what am i suppose to do now... am i gonna continue life like this.. at least busy-ness can let me forget everything temporary....
have not been eating quite alot these few days too...partly is because of my gastric flu bahs... eat wat vomit wat... den also no appetite... 5 days le... have been only eating the most 1 meal a day only.. but yet i dun feel hungry... lost about 3 kg... haix... everyone have been worrying for me... i dun wan this to happen... have been putting up a strong front infront of others... acting to be happy... acting to be energetic... although i am completly wear out le...
dunno why loves to walk a lot nowadays... although trying to keep myself busy to prevent me from thinking...i still need to think... what am i suppose to do... ...
took only one bus to sch and back home today... didnt change any bus... in the morning, i walk all the way frm my hse to temple there to take 8 to sch den when going home drop off at temple there and walk back home... although i already left no energy le... i still insist on walking... i am just tt stubborn... i also dunno why... maybe tired myself a bit will let me forget all my problems bahs.. am i avoiding the reality?
my horoscope for today... it ask me to take a risk and dun hesitation... can i really do tt? have been taking too much risk already... i take the risk in asking him thing and get back the answer that i dun wan... should i take the risk again?... maybe the horoscope is right... i am hesitating now... so i have missed my important opportunites... i dun wan to let go my opportunities... but i am really very scare in taking any risk anymore...i dun dare to try anymore...i dun wan to hurt myself anymore... is enough for me already...really have no confidence... really....
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)[?]
The Bottom Line
Take a risk and jump right into the deep end! Today, hesitation will cost you.
In Detail
Can't decide whether to take the plunge on a big purchase, a new relationship or another potentially perilous venture? You may be acting too cautiously -- beware of second-guessing yourself. Right now, you might as well jump right into the deep end! Have the courage to face whatever happens, and (more importantly) have confidence in yourself. Hesitation and diffidence will only cause important opportunities to pass you by.
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Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)[?]
The Bottom Line
Sick of couples joined at the hip? It's time to take off on your own for a while.
In Detail
While observing romantic couples today, you might end up feeling confused -- so many people seem to be connected at the hip, and you are wondering what the benefit of that closeness could possibly be. Instead, you are enthralled by the idea of the lone traveler today -- someone who moves through the world without any obvious ties to anyone else. This could be your subconscious talking, suggesting that it's time to take off on your own for a while.
